Friday, November 27, 2009

Back To The Future Crysis

So, apparently there's this game called Crysis or something and I guess maybe it's good, or maybe it's not. Either way, a mod has just been made so that you can TIME TRAVEL IN A DELOREAN!

Very, very cool.



The New Zealand Book Council Just Made Me Want To Read More



Sunday, November 22, 2009

Ninja Cat: The Return



The Best Pole Dance EVER



Friday, November 6, 2009

Everything Is Everything

This is a video of a couple people doing a bunch of random things. Exciting, right? No? I'll bet you'll still finish the video.



This Woman Wants You To Know That She's Sittin' On Da Toilet



And you can click HERE for all the remixes. You know you want to.

FAIL? NO! SUCCEED!

Here's a website that's the opposite of FailBlog.org. So in stead of seeing people FAIL, you see them SUCCEED! Here's some proof.



See?! Now, click HERE for more SUCCEED!

CLASH OF THE TITANS! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

I've been waiting about 10 years for someone to finally remake this movie. So awesome. Click on the poster to jump to the individual posters.



The Idiot And The Most Patient Cop In The World

Funny thing is, the "idiot" title really goes to both of them.



Wednesday, November 4, 2009

New Lev: "Various Jobs I Could Get"

I'm sure there's more than a few of us out there looking for a (second) job, so here's a little something to maybe help you decide.



Sunday, November 1, 2009

Ladies And Gentlemen: Christopher Walken Reads Lady Gaga's 'Poker Face'



Thursday, October 29, 2009

No Weekend Mixtape This Week...

...BUT I DID see this today, and thought it would suffice.

"Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers

Be safe this weekend. Happy Halloweeny.



The Best Mascot Dance You'll See All Week



Batman's Vanishing Act



The Most Romantic Song. EVER.

"Take U To Da Movies" by BANGS

Don't get weepy.



The Best Way To Destroy Your Car While Parking



This Halloween, The Scariest Place To Be, Is Disneyland?



Friday, October 23, 2009

Weekend Mixtape!!! 10/23/2009

So it's been a few weeks since I've put one of these up. That's happened for a handful of different reasons, but here's this one. There probably won't be one next week, or WILL THERE? HMMM? HMMMMMMMMM???

This week: Bad Veins, Blur, Julian Plenti, Minus the Bear, The Black & White Years and more.

Be safe. Enjoy the weather.




Moments - The Most Beautiful Thing You'll See All Weekend



Friday, October 2, 2009

'2012'

If you have just five minutes to waste right now, this is what you should waste it on. '2012', a movie about shit going nuts is coming to theatres soon. When I first saw all the destruction, I said I HAD to see this. Here's a clip that made me realize I was wrong. Stupid me! Stupid! Enjoy the most ridiculous thing you'll see all day.



I told you.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Conan O'Brien Had A Big Fall

I'm going to go into this because he talks about it all. All I can say is at least he's fine.



Friday, September 25, 2009

Weekend Mixtape!!! 9/24/2009

So glad this week is over. Another hot week down, getting closer to the cold ones.

This week: Kenna, The Strokes, Gin Blossoms, Kate Nash, Little Beirut, Catherine Wheel and more.

Everyone be safe!




Thursday, September 24, 2009

Bar Etiquette

This is something that's gone around for a while. I didn't write it, but I wish I did. Pass this on to your friends.

Bar Etiquette

DONT'S-

*BE A DOUCHE.
Yes, if you have never called yourself a douche or think that you never have acted a fool, we are talking to you. If you wear a flat-billed hat or a jersey on a daily basis, we are probably talking to you too. Maybe you should remove the tag and stickers from your hat before you go out. Don't think you are better, tougher, stronger, cooler, quicker, wittier, smoother, richer, or more of a pimp than you really are. Everyone sees right through the facade. Take these to heart and to the bar with you. Learn Rule #1. It will be your ticket to faster service, confidence success with the opposite sex, and a better life in general.

*FAIL TO HAVE YOUR MONEY READY
We're waiting on you. Everyone else is waiting on us. Therefore, by the Transitive Property of Equality, everyone is waiting on you. Rule 1: Have your shit together. Not only will following Rule 1 get you served quicker in a bar, it's a good general rule to adopt in life and is especially helpful in Central American border crossing scenarios.

*WHISTLE
This is an absolute No-No. You whistle at dogs, not people.

*WAVE MONEY
Oh, you've got a dollar!!! I'll be right over!! Hopefully I won't break an ankle in my fevered rush to get you your "Curz Lite." Well, at least you're not breaking the next rule.

*YELL OUT THE BARTENDER'S FIRST NAME
There's something deeply psychologically disturbing about hearing your name called out, turning around and seeing a complete stranger. That's one of the reasons strippers use stage names.

*SAY "MAKE IT STRONG!" OR "PUT A LOT OF LIQUOR IN IT"
Oh, you're one of the rare drinkers that like their drink strong! When you say this, you're assuming I make weak drinks (which is insulting) and you're assuming that I'll stiffen this one up for my new best buddy: you. This is the best way to get a weak drink.
Oh, and yes we did put liquor in it, even if it's sweet that is our job to make it taste good!
You're not going to get more liquor by saying no ice or straight up, then saying can you put some ice in it.

*GIVE THE EVER-EXPANDING DRINK ORDER
You want a Bud. I go get it. I come back and now you want a Margarita. Okay, no prob. I come back, and (oh yeah!) now you want a shot of Tequila, too. You really could have told us this all at once. See Rule 1.

*PULL THE REDIRECT (OR BAIT 'N' SWITCH)
Usually used after the money wave or the whistle, this is when the gentlemen passes his turn to the lady behind him. Yeah, um, don't do that, okay? Chances are she's not ready, and your weak attempt at chivalry just cost you your turn. See you in 30 minutes.

*TRY THE CONFUSED, LOST LOOK
This is usually accompanied by the question "What kind of beer y'all got?" while looking at all the beers we have. You did know you were in a bar, right? You didn't just appear here, did you? Refer to Rule 1.

*ORDER HIGH MAINTENANCE SHOOTERS
Example: "Lemme get an Alabama Slammer, a Red Snapper, two Kamikazes, a Buttery Nipple and a Lemon Drop." Usually followed by a small tip. People, these shooters are fine by themselves, but there are multiple steps involved with each one. Translation: Time Sink. You may get them this time, but you'll probably be waited on last the next time we see your face. Here's a clue as to whether or not you're high maintenance; if two bartenders are working and they see you, and they flip a coin and the loser comes over to take your order, pretty good chance you're high maintenance.

*ASSUME WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THE BAND
We know, we know, you're gonna be really famous, but you're not there yet, tiger. Tell us you're in the band and which band you're in. By the way, if you are in a band and get free/reduced drink prices, feel free to tip, as most bartenders are also in bands! It's not like we don't know how it is. Oh, and our bands will smoke your band.

*ASSUME WE KNOW YOU PERIOD!
Unless you've followed the first "Do" rule below, we don't remember you. You are one of a thousand faces for us, and when you point at an empty glass or a beer bottle that's invariably facing away from us, your attempt at a shortcut backfires. Tell us what you want.

*APOLOGIZE FOR SUCKING
Don't apologize for not tipping. Acknowledging that you suck is not the same as not sucking. Oh, and don't say "I'll get ya next time." We know all about you.

*ASSUME THE SOFT DRINKS ARE FREE
Are they free at McDonald's? Are they free at Wal-Mart? Are they free anywhere? I blame M.A.D.D. for this myth.

*PUT PENNIES AND NICKELS IN THE TIP JAR
We don't want that crap in our pockets any more than you do. We don't have anything smaller than quarters. Have you ever ordered a drink that cost $3.17?

*BE THE "MICRO BREW AFICIONADO"
Usually a pseudo-hippy who can't tip a quarter but can't bring himself to drink "schwag," and who has to sample some new berry-wheat-harvest-ale that he heard about at Burning Man. "Do you have the new Vernal-Equinox Special Welcome-Fest?" "Does Anyone?" Here's your Newcastle. Go.

*BE THE "DADDY WARBUCKS"
Dressed in classic day-trader wear, this loud, boisterous guy smokes cigars and orders martinis and generally exudes an air of money. Until the tip. We hate you.

*BE THE "WHINY BABY"
Under no circumstances should you ever whine to a bartender when asked to see your ID. Our jobs depend on them, and when we spot a fake/expired ID, don't argue; we've seen and heard it all a million times before, and it will get you absolutely nowhere. If you "don't have one" or "forgot it," forget it; you don't belong out on the town in the first place. That's the law, plain and simple. If we don't have the law, the terrorists win. You don't want the terrorists to win, do you? Bring your ID. Remember Rule 1, from a minute ago?

Don't tell me the bartender at the front bar hooks it up cheaper
bullshit because if he did you wouldn't be at my bar getting it from me! if you can't afford the drinks you are ordering then don't drink!


DO

Tip-
Tip heavy right off the bat, and you're the first person we aim for every time you come up to the bar. Did you get that? Go back and read it again. The word will spread to the other bartenders and you'll be treated like a prince. It will pay off in better drinks and the occasional free one.

Be patient-
All you really need to do to get waited on is make eye contact. We see you, and we'll get to you before the guy right next to you waving money and whistling. Remember, this isn't insulin we're passing out here. If you really need the drink that bad, you've got a problem to address, Jack. The meek shall inherit the bar.

Understand-
We are human not machines we know you're there however you are not the only or most important one in the bar...

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Best Guide To Hamburgers and Cheeseburgers. EVER.

You're about to get really hungry. And I'm about to finish this post so I can get a big fucking burger. Click pic.



Friday, September 18, 2009

Weekend Mixtape!!! 9/18/2009

I almost totally forgot about this one.

But here it is. This week: Talking Heads, Evangelicals, Jarvis Cocker, Oh No Forest Fires, Gossip, Metric, and more.

Be safe.